My Unplanned, Unassisted Homebirth

Charles Alexander Porter's Birth Story

Thursday, February 27, 2020

The day after my due date, the kids and I spent the sunny winter day at the park. We met Wesley at a restaurant for dinner, but hesitated before going in because I had several contractions I needed to breathe through on the short drive from the park.

We decided to eat out, figuring it would be a good distraction for early labor. I put on a Depends for just in case my water broke while we were eating.

Ten minutes after starting to eat, I had a contraction and felt like I would be far more comfortable if I were squatting. I told Wesley we should probably go home now, and he asked the waiter for boxes. We communicated with our doula, Chrissie Millett, and midwife, Karla Jo Bennett, and we planned to meet everyone at the house as soon as possible.

Because we drove to the restaurant separately, we had two cars to get home. I drove the Malibu while Wesley followed me in the van with the kids. He ended up falling behind at a red light I'd barely missed. I was also totally speeding all the way down Geneva Road. As I drove, I became vocal during contractions to help myself relax and manage the intensity (I had back labor). Wesley, being the loving and supportive husband he is, moaned along with me over the phone, giving encouragement between contractions. I was blessed with all green lights (except one) and fast traffic all the way home.

After pulling into the garage, I hung up with Wesley. As I stepped out of the car, another contraction swelled within me. I thought the intensity wouldn’t be so great now that I could stand and move around, but this contraction took me to my knees. I leaned over the driver’s side seat, moaning loudly. I briefly wondered what neighbors would think if they were walking by. Well, I thought, they’ll certainly know what’s going on. And I returned to my contraction. The swelling and intensity grew and finally released in a pop and gush behind me. My water had broken. So glad I put on the Depends at the restaurant.

Shaking, I called my midwife, Karla.

“My water broke. It gushed real good,” I was breathing heavily.

“Oh good!” Karla replied. “I’ll be there soon. Go ahead and fill up the tub.”

“No,” I said, “I think I’ll just go take a relaxing shower.”

In the course of this short conversation, apparently I walked into the house, took off my shoes, and put away my keys and purse. I don’t remember any of that, but I took the time to untie my shoelaces, too.

In the bathroom, I put my phone by the shower door and undressed my bottom half, including my knee-high striped socks. Stepping into the shower, I instinctively squatted, back to the showerhead, belly toward the drain. My body took over and my moaning turned into the tell-tale pushing sounds. I began talking to myself: “This is it! This is happening! Oh! He’s coming!”

I felt the ring of fire almost immediately.

“Oh, that’s the ring of fire!”

I reached down and felt his head crowning.

“That’s a head!”

The ring of fire was sharp and tight, and fear quickly rose inside me. Panic followed. I couldn’t handle the ring of fire.

The thought to pray came immediately, followed by one of my pregnancy affirmations. My affirmation became my prayer:

“God protects me and my family!”

The fear vanished. His head slid out, body following immediately. He lay on his stomach, looking to the right, the shower drain just above his hairy little head. The umbilical cord still tethered us together. I was in a daze and just stared.

Then he cried. That precious, small, newborn cry. I came out of my daze and registered the scene before me.

Right. Baby.

I picked him up and figured he might get cold, so I walked across the bathroom to get my towel. After sitting back down in the shower, I called Karla again.

“Hey, Tymber, what’s happening?” she asked.

I had no idea what to say, so I let Charlie talk to her first. His little cries still filled the air.

“Is that a baby?!” exclaimed Karla.

I finally found my voice, “Hey, Karla. Guess what happened?”

After a brief explanation of where I was and that I was alone, Karla said, “I like that cry. That is a good cry.”

About five minutes after I had Charlie, Wesley and the kids arrived.

“Tymber?” Wesley called.

“Hey, Wesley! Come see what happened!” I was glowing and ready to share what I just did.

Seeing Wesley and the kids’ faces when they rounded the corner into the bathroom was a priceless moment. Wesley lit up with surprise and joy. Flo’s eyes sparkled alongside her genuine smile. At the shower door, Lawrence noticed Charlie for the first time and exclaimed, “Baby! Baby!”

Wesley, steady and calm as always, took a picture of me and asked Karla what he could do. Flo ran to her room to say a prayer. Lawrence tried to climb in the shower with me. It was a precious family moment.

Angella, Karla’s assistant, arrived next, followed shortly by Karla and Chrissie. They all complained about rush hour traffic and getting stuck behind slow drivers.

After moving me to the bed, my dirty shirt and jacket were removed and I suddenly found myself and Charlie covered in three towels. The kids joined me on the bed and it felt like a family party. Flo cooed over Charlie and Lawrence took apart Karla’s flashlight. Lawrence gave Charlie a raspberry kiss on the forehead, and everyone laughed at the cuteness.

Karla and Angella helped me birth my placenta, stitched up my 2nd degree tear, and stopped my bleeding using various herbal tinctures and medications. I officially didn’t hemorrhage!

At one point, when it was just Karla and me in the room, Karla prayed to know which medication to give me to reduce my bleeding. I felt the spirit strongly in that moment and knew that Karla was relying on the Lord and revelation to know what I personally needed. I’m so grateful to have a care provider who relies on revelation as much as she relies on medical and herbal knowledge to treat my needs.

Chrissie listened to tidbits of my birth story, made me some tea, and made me eggs with Lawrence. I felt so loved by my birth team. My most common phrases were,  “I can’t believe that just happened,” and, “That was phenomenal.”

Karla did Charlie’s newborn exam and cut the umbilical cord after it stopped pulsing. Charlie’s head was 14 inches around, he was 19 ½ inches long, and weighed 8 pounds 5 ounces.

Wesley got to hold Charlie right after. He was one happy daddy.

Looking at the times that I called Chrissie and Karla, they were able to approximate when everything happened. My labor was about an hour and a half long and Charlie was born about 5:24pm. My labor was lightning fast!

What makes me laugh is that I was prepared for every scenario I could think of except the one that happened. I read my affirmation “I am prepared; I will handle everything beautifully” every day. I was prepared for many, many things. And I did handle everything beautifully.

"If ye are prepared ye shall not fear" (D&C 38:30).

I was prepared, and with the Lord's help, I did not fear.

I think that the only predictable thing about birth is that it is unpredictable. So far we’ve had an unplanned homebirth, an unexpected face presentation, and now an unplanned, unassisted homebirth. I can’t imagine what could happen next; but I know that God will prepare me for it just as he’s prepared me for these three births.

So there you have it. My third birth. It was truly an empowering and humbling experience. Yes, I was physically alone in that shower. But I wasn't alone. I had God protecting me and my baby. Through this experience, I now know that with Him I am capable of much more than I ever believed I was.